Women’s rights demonstration in Lahore, Feb 12, 1983. Photo: Rahat Ali Dar
Oh sisters, how incredibly boring the music produced by white men is. They have nothing to say, no insights to share and no injustice to rail against so all their songs seem to basically boil down to:
1) generalised whining about how they can’t get laid
2) specific whining about how a particular woman has ‘wronged’ them in some way (eg by having the audacity to not want to sleep with them)
3) Trying to sound sincere and romantic in an effort to increase the likelihood of getting laid
They also have no actual empathy for other human beings except other white men, and their emotional range is pretty much limited to self-pity, anger and lust, so their attempts to express emotion in music are painfully wooden.
This is without even going into the massive quantities of white-man-music devoted to
singing lying about their ‘sexual prowess’, inevitably with a massive side-order of misogyny and rape culture.
I mean of course upper/middle class white kids from good families are always the ones who rail the hardest against gay-marriage-as-assimilation because like, they are incapable of seeing anything but their own experience and viewing marriage as anything but a reason to spend…
Tell me again about how “women are just as likely to enjoy looking at porn as men”
Also a handy reminder of how the political interests of lesbian and bi women are not aligned with those of gay and bi men
um no Andrea Dworkin definitely hates trans women and sex workers. she’s written some great stuff but not about trans women. there are a number of perblogs I can think of but I’m not sure if that’s what you mean/need?
i was looking for more ~academic~ stuff but i already sent the response email… so i will definitely take some of those recs for my personal reading :)
This is a blog rather than a book but might be the sort of thing you’re looking for:Source: pandorasprings
Yesterday I mentioned that media has framed the current racist violence taking place in The Netherlands as a “debate”. I am repulsed by this framing and quite frankly, I am quite repulsed by Western conceptions of “debate”. Now, let me be clear, I love a good debate (or banter) as much as anyone…
"The working-class north of England was a routinely brutal world. Men hit women - or as D.H.Lawrence called it, gave them ‘a dab’ - to keep them in their place… and I grew up not caring much about physical pain. I used to hit my girlfriends until I realised it was not acceptable… that solves nothing, I know, and I’ve spent a lot of time understanding my own violence, which is not of the pussy cat kind. There are people who could never commit murder. I am not one of those people."
Jeanette Winterson (Why be Happy When You Could Be Normal? p46, hardback version)
Fellow lesbian and bi women, can we talk about how one of our ‘role models’, who often appears on ‘100 most prominent LGBT people’ lists, has admitted to perpetrating domestic violence against multiple women? Allow me to explain why the implication above that she has realised the error of her ways is bullshit:
1) There is no mention of or expression of regret towards the survivors of her abuse. Everything is centred on her reasons, feelings and experiences, as is typical with perpetrators.
2) By revealing her abusive behaviour in this book she has outed several survivors. For any of the women who have previously been in relationships with her, if people in their lives read the book they will be able to extrapolate that she abused them. How is this likely to make them feel? What impact will this have on their lives now? What memories will it bring up? A genuinely remorseful ex-perpetrator would have considered these questions.
3) There is a clear refusal to take responsibility for her actions in this paragraph, another classic perpetrator behaviour. I have seen several perpetrators who are working class and/or from the English North or Midlands try to justify and excuse their behaviour based on classist stereotypes of working class/Northern people as inherently violent. The vast majority of working class Northern people do not perpetrate domestic violence, and there is no evidence that working class Northerner are more likely to be perpetrators than any other group. This is because domestic violence is always a choice. Perpetrators make a choice to be violent.to exert power and control over those they abuse.
4) A further way she tries to minimise her own responsibility for her choice to abuse women is by implying that it is a result of the abuse she experienced as a child, leading her to think violence was normal. We all need to stop believing this bullshit myth RIGHT NOW. There is NO link between being abused as a child and going on to perpetrate abuse. On the contrary, many survivors of childhood abuse go on to become wonderful, loving and protective partners, mothers and friends who are determined that their loved ones should not have to go through what they went through. Perpetrators will often claim to have been abused as children in order to avoid taking responsibility and to try to gain the sympathy and attention they thrive upon - attention and sympathy that would be much better given to those they have abused.
5) Winterson tries to minimise and trivialise the seriousness of inflicting physical pain on another human being with the intent to control and humiliate them by using words like ‘dab’ and (in the extended version of the quote) ‘thump’ and talking about kids fighting “all the time”. Again this is not the behaviour of a remorseful woman taking responsibility for the seriousness of her actions and the impact on the women she abused.
6) A few sentences later we find her glamourising violence as something ‘dark’, with her reference to the fact that she is capable of murder. Trying to create a persona of ‘mysterious dark sexy person’ is classic abuser behaviour. In writing this sentence there is also an implied threat for her current and future partners that she is still capable of terrible violence, so they’d best be careful not to displease her…
There are so many amazing lesbian and bisexual women whose achievements go unrecognised, and who do not choose to perpetrate abuse, who we could be celebrating instead. Let’s make not being an abuser a condition of being held up as a role model in our community.
The “generation gap” is an important social tool for any repressive society. If the younger members of a community view the older members as contemptible or suspect or excess, they will never be able to join hands and examine the living memories of the community, nor ask the all important question, “Why?” This gives rise to a historical amnesia that keeps us working to invent the wheel every time we have to go to the store for bread.
We find ourselves having to repeat and relearn the same old lessons over and over that our mothers did because we do not pass on what we have learned, or because we are unable to listen. For instance, how many times has this all been said before? For another, who would have believed that once again our daughters are allowing their bodies to be hampered and purgatoried by girdles and high heels and hobble skirts?"
Audre Lorde in “Age, Race, Class and Sex: Women Redefining Difference” (1980)